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Big Boys, Big Teeth

Last night, our five-year-old crawled into bed with us at 1am and proceeded to puke, quite literally, all over us. This is not an exaggeration. There were pools of vomit. It was messy. A round of laundry, a proper vomit into an actual toilet bowl, and a change of pajamas…

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McDonald’s Mom

Right now, as I’m typing this, I’m in the McDonald’s drive-thru line. It is 5:19pm. Tonight marks the second time this week I’m feeding my kids Grade A, Unadulterated Crap. I had already started making a “healthy” meal of sweet potatoes and rice when the kids started sumo-slamming each other…

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The Getaway

It is school night and all the kids are asleep by 8:00. This has put me in the unique position of being able to wholeheartedly commit to doing one of two things: Work, or binge on Netflix. But our cable and internet is out (I’m using my cell phone as…

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