Hell Yeah I Bought a Minivan
Close your eyes.
Picture, if you will, your high school or college self. Ask that tender version of your psyche—whose biggest worry is passing finals and what bikini looks cutest for spring break—what car she imagines for herself when she’s settled into life as Actual Adult, with those 2.5 kids and spouse and twice-weekly grocery store trips.
Let me guess what you did NOT picture. A minivan.
And now let me tell you, what did I just buy that I am so insanely happy with that I could spit Goldfish? A minivan.
Since buying our first swaggin’ wagon, I have come to realize something: There are two types of people in this world—people who care what you think about their car, and people who get minivans. I am the latter.
Oh yes, there was a day in my not-too-distant past as a mom where I uttered the words that have surely passed through your lips a time or twelve: “I really need a new car that has more space for the baby/babies, so I’m open to anything as long as it’s not a minivan.”
Well I am here to tell you, my friends, that I have crossed over to the dark side, and it is delicious.
Have you tasted heaven? I have.
Heaven is seven seats AND room for your stroller in the trunk (without having to lift said stroller so high that it busts your C-section stitches.)
Heaven is a TV for each child, and the ability for them to watch separate programming.
Heaven is opening sliding doors at the touch of a button. Never having to worry about your 4-year-old opening the door so wide he scratches the car next to you in the parking lot.
Heaven is a vacuum BUILT INTO THE DAMN CAR. Yes, you heard that right.
Heaven is … a minivan.
It was just a year ago when my husband and I thought we were set for life with my oversize SUV—perfect for two kids while also preserving a touch of my Former Self Street Cred. Then #3 came along, and all of a sudden, seeming cool dropped about 35 rungs below surviving while maintaining my sanity. Therefore, Minivan.
And I gotta say, all my Give a Damns were obliterated the minute I pressed the auto-start button and watched those two sliding doors open like so many gates into paradise, my two kids literally skipping with glee to get into the “space ship” and take a ride. How was life not this easy before? And did you know that studies have shown that purchasing a minivan that sufficiently occupies and distracts your kids on long drives correlates to a 100% reduction in the Marital Tiff rate? Science!
So if you are at the same juncture, dangling on the Precipice of Cool and wondering if you let go, what your friends and former self will say? I am here to say, Let go, my friend. The Other Side has power doors, auto start, and extra cargo space enough to let you bury your pride for just a minute. Long enough to start planning for that badass car you’re gonna get once the kids don’t need all this space anymore.
Image via Shay Captures PhotographyFamily, Motherhood.