That Gut Feeling
It’s been a little while since we talked about working here…
I’m talking about working a job. An out-of-the-house, insurance-providing, answering-to-an-actual-human-boss kind of job. (And not toddler humans. Adult humans.)
In other words, precisely not the kind of working I’ve been doing lately.
A lot of people have asked me over the course of the ten months since I quit my job (for my new friends here, I was a TV news anchor) how I’m doing, how I feel about not working in TV anymore, and if I miss it at all.
Good, fine, and no. Those are the short answers. 🙂
But another question I get all the time is, why?
The long answer is, the hours were tough, and I was exhausted (SO exhausted). I did all the mom stuff from wakeup at 6:30 til 2pm—breakfast, lunch, school dropoff/pickup, naptime, meal planning—and also had to fit in all the “me” stuff into that time (including showering, doing my hair and makeup, looking presentable, because no one wants a scrubby TV lady). And then I did all the work stuff until 11:30pm.
I didn’t skip a beat, and eventually, well, it just wore me out.
But the short answer for why I quit? It just felt right. I felt it in my gut. Like many people say about the moments they find their life partners, I just knew.
Never one to make things easy on myself, though, it took me quite some time to accept this strange thing—this “gut feeling.”
I remember asking myself, is that enough? Is a feeling enough of a reason to walk away from a career?
Then I recalled all the times in the past I had ignored my gut feelings, or had taken way too long to listen to them. It never really worked in my favor. (Hello, cheating ex-boyfriends.)
So this time—even though it was a completely different circumstance, a job decision instead of a relationship decision—I decided to trust it.
I found this article about the importance of trusting one’s instinct, and this quote was fascinating to me:
“Why is trusting your gut so powerful? Because your gut has been cataloging a whole lot of information for as long as you’ve been alive. “Trusting your gut is trusting the collection of all your subconscious experiences,” says Melody Wilding, a licensed therapist and professor of human behavior at Hunter College.”
Isn’t that so comforting to know? I love all of this.
Packed away, buried deep down, underneath all of our fears and anxieties–and often hidden among other people’s expectations and perceptions of us–is buried that little kernel of truth. Hiding, like a pearl in an oyster, just waiting for us to crack it open.
Our truth. Tucked in there, nice and snug.
And all we have to do is get quiet enough to listen to it. All the big stuff that throws all kinds of problems at us every day–we can handle it! We’ve got this!!
Glorious, glorious God has given us everything we need to navigate or weird little worlds, even if we don’t always listen to it. And as a person who is known to second- (and third-, and fourth-) guess things, the fact that our minds were designed to protect us in this way is incredibly reassuring to me.
Whether you have big decisions to make about jobs or relationships or other big things, may I humbly suggest that you tap into this greatest power of your gut, and just go with it?
Now, as I look back at the past ten months where I’m no longer “that lady on TV”–no longer what the world defined me as, but only my own definition of myself–it finally feels right.
All of this is to say, I like it in this little spot—this place I found from trusting my gut.
Life’s not perfect, and no job is either.
But I trust the road map that got me to the place where I am now. I think I’ll stay a while.
When’s the last time you trusted your gut? Were you surprised with what happened? I’d love to hear your stories!
(Post artwork via.)