What a Mom (Really) Wants for Christmas

Remember the days when the magic of Christmas permeated everything about the season? When you believe, every day can feel like magic.

It’s been a while (obviously) since I believed in the Big Guy in the Red Suit myself, but having kids has made me appreciate the Christmas season in a whole new light.

That being said, if there did happen to be an overweight man with a penchant for red fleece-lined suits living at the northernmost corner of our planet, just waiting with bated breath to grant the wishes of a near-40-year-old, this would be my list.


1 – More sleep

Oh Santa. Man. This one is big. If you are truly in the business of magic, could you somehow work this out? It likely entails altering the brain patterns of my children and may also involve the ingestion of some melatonin, and all I’m gonna say is, #iaintmadatcha.

2 – Perky Boobs (Again)

Given that you don’t have an M.D. after your title, I’m not sure you can help me with this. But enough money for a down deposit and a recommendation for a good doctor will go a long way.

3 – Unlimited access to Massage

Someone told me that once I got married I would automatically have a membership to this service, but it turns out that’s not the case. (Dads get tired too.) So any spa will do! My exhausted, baby-built biceps thank you in advance.

4 – A Personal Assistant

Again, this may or may not be possible, but if I’m really wishing on a star, someone who could help me to manage daily life would be pretty freaking great. I mainly need someone to remind me of all the appointments I put on my calendar and yet somehow still manage to forget about (daily); point me away from any potentially-dangerous situations; and help me clean up slime from any and all household surfaces. 

{See also: Personal therapist, Personal chauffeur}

5 – A Magic Eraser for all the Mom Guilt

On a serious note, Santa, this one would be great.

I’m sure if you talk to Mrs. Claus about this one she’ll back me up: It’s kinda tough to be a mom sometimes because no matter where we are, what we are doing or how we are doing it, we have this uncanny ability to feel like we are massively failing at this whole parenting gig. So if you could take a magic wand and just wave that away, that would be great.

I’ll take this one above all the rest, actually. And if you could hook up all mamas everywhere with this same item, that would be even better. We can use all the help we can get.

Well, that about wraps it up! Thanks for all the great memories, for providing an incentive to keep my kids in line for the longest stretch of time (next to the threat of confiscating their iPads), and thanks mostly for being magical.

Red sweater
What a Mom Really Wants for Christmas


Sweater (Similar and on SALE) // Jeans // Shoes


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