The 3 Month Check-In

I knew at some point it would happen, and today it did. When talking with a woman I’ve known for years asked how I was doing “not working,” and I said, “Great!” I got The Look. The “You Gotta Be Kidding Me, Lady” look.

My well-meaning friend, I’m sure, didn’t mean to look at me like I lost my mind, but the clues were there. In the year leading up to my decision to quit my job in TV news, as I surveyed a whole bunch of people about what I was considering, I got that reaction far more frequently than I thought I would. Nothing like those you love thinking you’ve lost your damn mind to make you reeeeeeally consider what you’re about to do.

But of course, I did end up quitting, and here I am, three months later, and I finally have had some time to process my new reality.

I will say, TV news anchor is as close to a damn dream job as you can get. You work with incredibly smart on incredibly impactful stories. You get an adrenaline rush ad-libbing for hours on breaking news. You have access to sporting events and political conventions and the openings of the latest restaurants and cool businesses. It’s your job to talk to people, for goodness’ sake. For an extrovert, does it get more fun than that?

That’s why I felt almost guilty for a while for reaching a point where I just didn’t want it anymore.

I know I’m no different than any other working mom out there who has come across a months-old picture of her child on her phone only to realize how damn FAST it all goes, and ask herself, what am I missing by not being there more? Am I doing the right thing by working? (The answers here are likely, not much, and yes, of course you are—if you like your job.) But for me, the days of it feeling Right started to be outpaced rapidly by days when it felt Wrong.

It’s here where I acknowledge I am grateful and lucky to take time off work. It has changed the way we operate financially as a family, but these were changes my husband and I discussed and were prepared to make.

And as I sit here nearly three months out of my last day at work, I can’t help but feel nothing but gratefulness that I am here today, writing in my PJs from bed, or enjoying The Bachelor on the couch with my husband and throwing in a load of laundry before turning in for the night. It doesn’t require Hair and Makeup and Interviewing Important People. It sure ain’t glamorous. but it’s my life. My new life. And cool job and weird looks be damned, I love it.

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