Do Love Languages Matter in Marriage?

Do Love Languages Matter in Marriage?

Andrew and I are like a set of shoes–supposed to go together, but distinctly different. Over the course of our ten years together, this complementary aspect of our relationship has been borne out time and time again–from the way we plan vacations (he doing all the meticulous booking and choosing of activities, and me being carefree enough to calm him down when a flight is late or a special night we’ve planned goes awry), to the way we live out our lives. Me–the shotgun; him–the scalpel.

This is not to say that our differing qualities always jibe. I know I frustrate him with my procrastinating ways, and his need for detail can be stifling to me. But overall, we… work.

But in a bid to continue to understand each other better, I have asked on more than several occasions that now-trite question that I’m certain many women have asked their partners: What’s your love language?

His answer then and now makes me laugh. Are you ready for this? Cue the violin music, because this is some romantic shit…

“Silence and solitude.”

Ha! Guys… I can’t. (He’s clearly funny, which makes up for the fact that he scoffs at my armchair psychologist attempts at understanding our relationship.)

But Really… Are Love Languages Real?

If you ask me, I say yes! (By the way, I can actually pin Andrew down to a real answer for his… eventually.)

The author of the book The Five Love Languages obviously thinks this is a real phenomenon. And in that book they are listed as:

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Acts of Service
  • Receiving Gifts
  • Quality Time
  • Physical Touch

So What Are Yours?

Hands down, no question about it, I’m all about quality time and words of affirmation, with a sprinkle of physical touch thrown in. Ha! If I never got another gift for the rest of my life… no big deal. Don’t care about acts of service either. But communicating honest feelings with my partner and spending time together? That’s my bag.

Andrew’s, as it turns out and when forced to answer correctly ;), are receiving gifts and acts of service. So in this test, as in our relationship, we are completely different, and yet complementary.

Supporting Your Partner’s Love Language

I’m total shit at getting gifts. To be honest, it’s a wonder Christmas is pulled off successfully in our home when I’m in charge. But I work on this as much as I can, because I know it’s important to him. And as for acts of service, Andrew says as long as I’m on time, that can count as my contribution to that language. Haha. (Punctuality… another trait I’m always sharpening.)

So any way you choose to celebrate this Valentine’s Day, do it with your and your partner’s love language in mind. And now, I’ve gotta go find some websites with overnight shipping…

Have you ever taken the Love Languages quiz? What are yours, and how do they fit with your partner’s? I wanna hear! Comment below!

Sonni-LOGO-SMALL

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