Seriously, Screw the Idea of “Followers”

So here I am, building my media empire brick by three-freaking-ton brick, and I run into a little roadblock that got me a little twitchy. And by twitchy, I mean freakin’ angry.

I’ve been working with an incredible brand developer who’s helping me to hone in on what it is I’m offering. Before I go into full-on #rantmode, let’s chat about that a bit.

To me, this site–and all of my social channels–have always been about you. What do I mean by that? I mean, I want to bring you guys stories, tips, interviews and anything else that adds VALUE to your life. In my opinion, there is not one more inch of room out there for aspirational, perfect-seeming blogs that do nothing but make you feel bad about your wardrobe/relationship/life choices/career. I mean, I’m all for a pretty picture and a well-conceived color scheme, but for me? I better be relating to the person on the page on a deeper level if I’m going to keep coming back for more.

So yeah. Value. Enrichment. Entertainment. That’s what I’m going for with you guys. Honestly? (Incoming Corny Statement Alert!) It’s the biggest thrill for me to connect with you guys. Via an Instagram comment, a comment here on the blog, an email or DM about a topic I’ve recently covered on my podcast… all of that gives me LIFE. And it makes me want to come back and serve you more, daily, with genuinely good information that is going to make your life a little easier, or a little better, too.

I’ve said this since I launched my blog: This is the place I want you to come to feel a little less alone. A little more connected. A lot more entertained. And I am committed to that, and to you.

So anyway, back to my story. I’m talking about my brand, excited about what’s next, and just overall high on this vibe–feeling fueled by the fire of what’s next–and I hear back from someone that my amazing brand lady had reached out to in regards to appearing on my podcast.

“Her manager says she doesn’t go on any shows where the host has less than 100,000 Instagram followers.”

Guys? R.A.G.E. 

First thought: “Fuck her, and her overblown sense of importance.” Second thought: “Can’t a sister help another sister out?” Third thought: “That’s okay; I know the value I bring with or without this guest.”

I’ve spoken about this many times with friends: Coming from the traditional media world, where objectivity and standards and constant editing and analyzing reign supreme, sometimes it’s tough for your sister friend here in this online space.

Unchecked, this digital world can feel like one (giant, fashionable, hashtag-blessed) stage where only the Cool Girls reign supreme. Where it doesn’t matter how hard you work or how much you care or how much you strive to make a worthwhile space for others, because all it comes down to is how color-coordinated your fucking Instagram grid is. It can feel precisely like the space I do not want to inhabit.

But then I connect with one of you who has found value in an interview I did with a doctor, or who has tried a product I’ve tested and recommended, or who is going through The Bigness of early motherhood and found a piece of mine that she connected with, and I think, Okay. This is actually exactly where I’m meant to be.

You see, what that woman inadvertently taught me about my reason for being in this online space is this: It’s not about followers. It’s not about whether I get a seat at the Cool Girls’ Table. (I don’t want one, anyway.) It’s about staying true to the reason I’m here, and the reason is to be of value to you. To share so much of the hard-won–and yet-to-be-gotten–wisdom of this wacky journey of motherhood.

The Follower-Counters blow. The Perfect-Only people can make you feel less than (even if they don’t intend to, and of course they don’t). But those points of connection with people who truly open up to you–and you, them–make this whole damn thing worth it. And I sure am glad you are here with me in my space.

So, welcome. Even if you’ve been here a while. Let’s celebrate ALL of the things that make this journey so fun–the good, the ugly, and all the wacky shit in between. I’m so, so glad you’re here.


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